I’ve had a complete shift recently about judging people.
I used to take it for granted that we all judge people, and that’s kind of how it’s supposed to work.
By judging them, or even stereotyping them, we are more easily able to know how to interact with them.
Maybe judging was even a helpful tool to expedite our communication.
Then I came to realize that the more we are judging other people, the more we judge ourselves.
I found myself paralyzed to take action because I was afraid of how people would judge me.
What if people didn’t like me? What if I got negative comments when I put myself out there?
The easiest way to avoid all of that was to just not put myself out there. If I stayed small and kept myself in a corner, I wouldn’t be judged negatively.
But that wasn’t even true.
Even if no one else was judging me, I was judging myself. …and I was judging myself more harshly than anyone else.
Jen Sincero explained an analogy that really rang true to me. She talked about how if you’re always living your life to make other people happy, then you probably aren’t making anyone happy. You might as well do what feels great to you and stop worrying about what other people think.
Other people will judge you. There’s no way you can stop them, or control them into thinking whatever they want about you.
Some people might be your biggest fans. Other people might think you should be doing everything differently.
No matter what you do, there will be people who disagree with you. Period.
So knowing this, you might as well not worry about them and do what makes you feel the most alive. Do the things that you take joy in, no matter what other people think.
I gave myself permission to do things that not everyone would agree with. …and that’s fine.
I don’t need everyone to agree with me. I’m looking for the smaller group of people who need to hear what I have to say.
I also decided to stop judging myself. Try it, and tell me how it goes.