If there is one thing I wish I could teach everyone in the world, it would be this:
Your brain is always on the lookout for risks.
As soon as something seems risky, your brain is alarmed, and it makes that risk seem huge.
A lot of my clients are ashamed to talk about all the negative thoughts they have because they think there’s something wrong with them.
“I must just be a negative person.”
“I know I shouldn’t think this way, but it’s just my default way of thinking.”
“There must be something wrong with me.”
There’s nothing wrong with them, or you, if you can relate to this (which I am guessing you can because it really is the norm).
All this means is that their brain is doing a really good job of keeping them alive.
Think about caveman times.
If you saw a sabre tooth tiger, your brain would need to know that it’s a risk, and would need to make sure you put your full attention on that tiger so that you stay alive.
Your brain still has that same mechanism built in.
It’s called the spotlighting effect.
Your brain senses a risk, and it magnifies it so that you can’t pay attention to anything else.
Why? Because that risk might kill you.
…but these days the risks are things like people commenting a way you don’t want them to. Or someone reprimanding you. Or feeling embarrassed
Not actually things that could kill you, as it turns out.
So it’s your job to manage your brain.
Thank it for keeping you alive, and remind it that you won’t die if you ask for a raise and don’t get it.
“Don’t worry brain, I’ve got this. The risk is worth it, and I actually won’t die.
If you want to go deeper in this, sign up for a free consultation. Get started at amberdeibert.com/consult